The past 3 weeks have been such a roller coaster. I mentioned before about my cat and how sick she was and having to bring her to the vet. For about a week and a half it was back and forth to the vet, spending money, getting new medicine, not knowing what was wrong.
She was on antibiotics and it was such a struggle just to get her to take them and on top if that she wasn't eating and was sneezing blood. I knew she was getting worse but I just kept wishing it wasn't true. Last monday, when I woke up she threw up blood and I knew it was time for her to go. Looking at her as I left my house to go to work I knew it was the last morning I would see her laying on the chair as a walked out.
On the way to work I finalized the idea in my head and knew we would take her to the vet first thing when I got off work. I kept battling with myself on whether or not it was time but I always kept coming back to the sight of her sneezing or throwing up and being so unhappy. Whether or not I could handle it, it was the best thing for her.
I was a zombie through both of my classes and had to try hard not to break down. Having to make it through the morning knowing what was to come was awful.
I called Johnny on the way home and told him to make the appointment with the vet. I kept feeling like I should just wait and see if she improved but I knew that if I didn't do it on that day that I wouldn't be able to and that I would have to watch her get worse day by day.
I cried heaving sobs the whole way home and walked in the door to her laying on Johnny's lap purring. I kept telling myself that just because she was purring, it didn't mean she was healthy or happy. She was frail and skinny and I knew she must have been in so much pain.
I held her the whole way to the vet and she purred as I pet her. It was extremely bittersweet and I was dreading the moment I would have to let her go.
We pulled in and I kissed her goodbye. Johnny walked her in and then we drove away. Just like that and I knew I would never get to hold her or pet her again. I couldn't bear the thought of being in the room when they put her down. I would have been a mess.
I cried the way home and then some more and then some more after that.
Losing a pet is terrible and it made it so much worse knowing that I couldn't save her. She was really sick and I couldn't do anything to help her.
Although, it was painful, I arose from my depression in about 2 days and was at peace, knowing she didn't have to suffer anymore.
I also decided to get a new kitty almost right away because I hate how empty it feels. Our new little boy is a white and gray one year old by the name of Lio. He was the ultimate lap cat and loves to give kisses.
I know that people say, they are just animals, but they become a part of your life. Cat was there for me every time I needed her and I loved her and cared for her as much as I could. The way I see it, I now have a new little guy who will love me and who I rescued from being stuck in a cage.
Sorry for the sob story. I really am happy now and feel so blessed for the life I have been given!