Saturday, September 8, 2012

Connor's Birth Story Part One

It's finally time to write the birth story! I'll say now that it is not how I planned it but the end result is more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. Having a baby is the most amazing feeling and I love him so much it's crazy.

Connor's birth story really starts at 37 weeks even though that is about 2 weeks before he was actually born. I found out at 37 weeks that he was breech. In other words, he was head up with his feet down towards my cervix. It was really surreal when I found out. The midwife said she suspected he might be breech and they quickly got me in for an ultrasound between other patients.

When the ultrasound tech turned on the machine I was sure it was going to show him head down but unfortunately that was not the case. Since we didn't actually have an appt for the ultrasound the tech was going super fast and basically said oh yup he's head up and quickly wiped my stomach and send us on our way to talk to my midwives.

They said they were sorry he was breech and started their whole spiel about c-sections and what was going to happen and also went over what to do in the meantime to try and get him to turn naturally. When I look back it seems like that hour or so was such a blur and everything happened so fast. I had planned the perfect natural birth complete with birth plan and high hopes and everything seemed to be crashing down. I held it together during the rest of the appt but when my husband and I got to the car I started hysterically crying.

I know it seems like a minor issue compared to what can potentially go wrong in a pregnancy and I am so thankful for my beautiful healthy baby but when you are pregnant everything is a big deal and I had been planning for months. The following weeks were full of doing every exercise possible to get him to turn, going to the chiropractor to see if she could get him to turn, and mentally preparing myself that I might have to have a c-section.

I'm not going to lie, it was a really rough 2 weeks. I was constantly fighting with myself in my head between holding on to the birth I wanted and hoping he would turn and facing the reality that if he didn't I would have a c-section.

The days passed and there was tons of movement (my little guy is strong!) but there was no movement into the head down position. As the days dwindled down until the c-section date set for Sept 4th I become more and more at peace with what was going to happen. I decided that I needed to let go of everything I had planned and make a new plan. Just because it wasn't what I planned didn't mean it wasn't going to be the best day of my life and the first day of my sweet little boy's.

My parents came in the day before the c-section and I was so happy to see them. I went to be early and got up early to take a shower, do my hair, put on makeup and get ready to go. As I packed the rest of my things I couldn't help thinking how weird it was that I knew in just a few short hours that our baby would be here and that this would be the last time we would be at our house as a family of 2.

We took some last pictures of me pregnant and we hit the road on the way to hospital. When we got there they checked me in and and I got in my hospital gown and the first thing they did was an ultrasound to see if baby had moved or not. I had become very aware of his head in my ribs since he was so big at this point so I knew he hadn't turned and of course the ultrasound showed his head right at the top of my uterus.

After that it all become very real. I looked at the clock and it was around 11:30 am. The surgery was scheduled for 12:30 pm. In a little over an hour I was having a baby.We did a lot of waiting, my friend Hannah came to take some birth photography photos of the before and I visited with my family.

Soon the Dr. came in and said hi and asked if I had any questions. The anesthesiologist also came in and explained the spinal to me. I just listened and stayed focused on the end result, skipping by all the other stuff mentally.

Then it was finally time to go into the operating room. I walked in and it looked so cold with bright lights and instruments everywhere. Luckily, I'm a biology teacher and have always loved everything having to do with human body and thoroughly enjoyed every dissection I've ever done so thinking about getting cut open didn't really scare me. As weird as it sounds, it was actually intriguing.

They sat me down on the table and I had to curl my back for the spinal to go in. I'm not scared of needles either but the nurse that was holding my shoulders was talking to me trying to get my mind off of it and she made it seem like it was going to be really bad. When the needle went in I was surprised at how not bad it was. The nurse was like wow you didn't even flinch. A little prick and some pressure and instantly my toes went numb. Weirdest feeling ever!

The turned me flat on my back and called my husband in. I started getting a little queasy because everything was going so fast and within minutes I couldn't feel my entire lower body from about mid ribs all the way down. Losing control is such a strange feeling. Once I saw Johnny all dressed up in his hospital scrubs everything was fine again and I started to get so excited I could hardly stand it. They put up the big blue curtain and I stared at the light above my head.

I felt some pressure and instantly asked the Dr if I was cut open yet. He probably thought I was weird because I was talking during the whole surgery. He said oh ya we started already and I told Johnny to look at it and tell me what it looked like. He stood up and said it looked like a big cut and he could see my insides.

About 30 seconds later I heard one of the nurses say "I see feet" and Johnny stood up and starting saying "oh my gosh, oh my gosh" and laughing. It was so amazing to hear his reactions to seeing our baby for the first time. Within seconds I felt more pressure and I finally heard my boy cry for the first time and even though I couldn't see him I starting crying and was so overwhelmed with love for him already. It was unlike any feeling I have ever felt before.

Johnny wasn't allowed to go over to see him for a minute or so because they had to check him out and make sure he was okay. Johnny had videoed the whole thing and he showed me the video as I laid there. I was so amazed at what I was seeing and in the background I could still hear my little guy crying and crying as the nurses checked him out. It was all so fast and amazing and crazy all at the same time. So technically, I saw him for the first time on Johnny's phone and then soon after Johnny went over to see him and I was still just laying behind the curtain completely unable to move while they sewed me back up.

I soaked up the experience and marveled at the fact that the baby I heard crying was actually mine, the same baby I carried for 9 months, the one whole kicked and rolled inside of me and gave me so much joy. I couldn't wait to see his face and soon enough they brought him over to me all wrapped up like a little burrito and I couldn't believe me eyes. He was so beautiful.

After I got a peek at my precious little man they took him to the nursery and Johnny waved and said see you later and I remember thinking about how happy he looked. Like a proud new dad. It was absolutely amazing.

That's all for part one! Part two will be coming tomorrow!

xoxo Jessenia


  1. I'm so happy for you! I can't wait for part 2! And you have the cutest baby i have ever seen! :-)

  2. Why am I crying?!? #hormones - J I'm so proud of you! Thought it wasnt the birth you expected it sure was special! I loved hearing your thoughts on the actual process. Can't wait to read the rest! I also can't believe I'm reading your birth story STILL PREGNANT, guess I should savor these last few days...

    1. Thanks :) I was crying when I wrote it too lol I can't wait to hear yours! Very soon!

  3. Oh my gosh! that was an amazing story! like everyone else, i started crying too while reading it! lol thats amazing!!! i'm so happy for you! Like you said, even though it wasn't your initial way of doing it, it turned out perfect! Connor is perfect! He's such a gorgeous little boy!

  4. Such a beautiful birth story, Jessenia. And such a beautiful baby boy! You make a great mommy for little Connor and Johnny, a great daddy. It's wonderful to put down, in words, the memories of the start of your sweet, little family. - love all 3 of you, mom Tullar

    1. Thanks :) He is such a blessing. Love you too!

  5. I have tears in my eyes. It is so cool to read your whole experience of that day- I can't wait for part 2 :) You are such an amazing mom already Jessenia, and he is so perfect. It was such an honor to document his birth-day!

    1. Thank you so much. The photos are great. There are so many moments that I would've missed if you weren't there! :)